Ho-lé! It is I, El Kabong NintendoMaximus, to the rescue!

The DVD sets for "Animaniacs" and "Pinky and the Brain" come out today, but before I go pick 'em up, I figured I should celebrate with the opening of a new club administrated by me. It's , DA's first-ever fan club for "Histeria!", another comedy offering from the minds of the aforementioned now-on-DVD shows. And to celebrate the club's opening, I figured today would be the best time to post up a journal entry featuring what I have to say about "Histeria!"'s characters. I originally wrote this on the Mucha Lucha Fan Forum (click here to see the original thread) and figured I might as well bring it here to DA. So here we go!

-----



It's called Histeria!
The world premere-ia!
We dare-ia to watch Histeria!
Preparia for hilaria,
They love it in Bulgaria,
Histeria!
We declaria, be awaria
The laughter's gonna bury ya, we swearia!
It's history mania,
Get set for Histeria!
We're racing through time in search of comedy
We're gonna make fun of history
With superstars from every century
Here on Histeria!
It's hysterical, historical
Here's Big Fat Baby, he smells horrible
With Father Time, Loud Kiddington,
Miss Information,
World's Oldest Woman,
Mix Toast and Pepper with Charity
Add Froggo and the others, get hilarity
Revolutionaria, it's time for Histeria!
His-ter-i-a!

In 1998, Tom Ruegger, the creator of "Tiny Toon Adventures" and "Animaniacs", gave Kids' WB! a show that sought not only to entertain its audience, but educate it as well. That show was "Histeria!" After 52 episodes, the show was unfortunately removed from the WB's schedule in August 2001, and unlike its predecessors, it did not go into reruns on Nickelodeon, or even Cartoon Network. Today, it would've been forgotten altogether if not for Time-Warner's new Internet TV channel, In2TV, which is how I got to witness this show.

When I first heard of "Histeria!", it was by way of an advertisement for Kids' WB!'s 1998 line-up shown right at the start of the September 1998 issue of "Disney Adventures". I, however, scoffed it to be too disgusting for my viewing, instead showing more interest in the ill-fated "Pinky, Elmyra, and the Brain" ('cause I happen to like crossovers no matter how stupid other people find them to be). By the time "Histeria!" disappeared from Kids' WB!'s airwaves, I had still not sat through a single episode; the only things of it I had on tape were commercials for it aired during "Animaniacs" and "Pinky and the Brain" episodes I had recorded in the summer of 1999, and the first two minutes of one particular episode which I never realized had been on that tape till just last week.

It was thanks to a big fan named Justin (he's JusSonic on FanFiction.net) that I finally decided that "Histeria!" was worth my viewing time and regretted my earlier decision to ignore it. But that all changed on March 17, 2006, when I found out about In2TV via Wikipedia. And when I found out it was featuring many of Warner Bros.' older shows, "Histeria!" and "Freakazoid!" (and "Pinky and the Brain", but I wasn't as concerned with this one since it's got a DVD set coming out anyway) among them, I realized what I had found out about was a godsend. For the first time in quite a while, I could finally watch old Kids' WB! shows (and "Beetlejuice"), in my bedroom, in a way other than old VHS tapes. Believe me, with all the crap they've got on Cartoon Network and Toon Disney these days, you wouldn't believe how much I missed Kids' WB!'s glory days. And I figured I wouldn't have any problems watching In2TV's shows on my computer, since I had previously watched "The Super Mario Bros. Super Show" on Yahooligans! TV. So without any more words, I headed on over to AOL's webpage for In2TV and sat down to watch my old favorites as well as this new one.

"Histeria!", for those of you who missed out on it in 1998-2001 and don't have a good enough computer to watch In2TV, is, as I said before, a cartoon that was designed to entertain and educate. To be more exact, it educates in history, hence the titular pun. The characters, immediately so reminiscent of those featured on "Animaniacs!" that I've already started giving them their own Wikipedia articles, are shown performing comedy sketches not unlike those of "Saturday Night Live" (and, to an extent, "Monty Python's Flying Circus") centered around whichever period or topic in history the episode is focused on. Sometimes, the child portion of the cast is shown annoying the devil's home out of such historical figures as Thomas Edison, Rosa Parks, Ben Franklin, and Christopher Columbus. I'd probably accuse them of stealing Yakko, Wakko, and Dot's act if not for the fact that they have the same creator.

Being cited by the Annenberg Foundation as the best example of the genre of all children's programs running on network television in 1999, you'd think the show would've been popular enough for a merchandising deal. But apparently it wasn't, and as a result, we received no "Histeria!" comic books, no "Histeria!" video games, no "Histeria!" PVCs, no pull-string Loud Kiddington dolls, and not even a single home video release. A pity too, considering how the show has already begun replacing "¡Mucha Lucha!" as my top favorite of Warner's TV cartoons. So long as we're discussing the show, I might as well introduce the aptly-named characters who made up the show's regular cast.



Father Time, obviously based on the mythological figure, is pretty much the ringleader of the "Histeria!" cast, as he is usually introducing the sketches. As you can tell from the beard, he's obviously very very old (he is a mythological figure, after all), and he apparently doesn't like to be reminded of it. At times, such as in a game show where he calls himself Pop Quiz (get it?), he loses his temper with the childrens' portion of the cast. His voice was provided by Frank Welker.



I guess maybe Big Fat Baby is the reason I initially avoided "Histeria!" You see, he has this bad habit of crapping his pants, I mean his diaper. Looking back on that, I don't understand why that would make me avoid the show. Sure, he may smell terrible, but why should I worry about that? He's only a fictional character whose gas I can't really smell. Anyway, the kids frequently ask the historical celebrity they're bothering to change Big Fat Baby's diaper, saying that the last time he had a clean diaper was before something that happened a long time ago. Big Fat Baby is also clearly a parody of Baby New Year, because the sketches always begin with a shot of him wearing a ribbon dictatin whatever year it takes place in. Occasionally, there is also a Big Fat Baby Girl who either accompanies or fills in for the male one. Sometimes there are several Big Fat Babies, which raises an interesting question for me, mainly after reading the fanfic Histeria: The Next Generation. Do all the babies born in the fictional world of "Histeria!" look like this? If that's true, then the girls in the Kid Chorus will probably be in for a world of hurt when they go into labor. Oh, and Big Fat Baby's gurgles show off that Ruegger had nepotism on his side - the voice is that of his son, Luke.



I wouldn't be surprised if female rights activists protested "Histeria!" on account of Miss Information. She's your typical blonde ditz, usually shown leading three unnamed adults and two kids whom I'll get to later through the historical settings, no matter what's going on, as if the whole world is a museum she works for. And as if it isn't enough that she's constantly stating the obvious in her Southern drawl, she often gets her facts wrong, defending her beliefs through some sort of logic hole. For example, she believes that George Washington is named after the monument, rather than the other way around, simply because it isn't called the George Monument. But we can all forgive 'cause she's so purty. Her Southern voice came from Laraine Newman.



World's Oldest Woman is an old lady who apparently pre-dated everything and tries to date every man she meets, and who looks surprisingly a bit younger than you'd expect an ancient lady to look. As a matter of fact, she claims to have dated every historically important man there's been, having been married about as many times as Lois Lane, and yet is always itching to get it on with another man. And apparently, age doesn't matter to her, as in one sketch, she shows obvious attraction to Bill Straitman. I guess she's here to prove that you're only as old as you feel! Sometimes taking on the role of Cleopatra (unless the writers want to portray Cleo as attractive, in which case they assign it to Pepper), Oldest Woman was voiced by Tress MacNeille.



Even though Father Time was the ringmaster of this circus, the show-stealers had to be the show's Kid Chorus, a group of oddball children who frequently sang in-between sketches. Most prominent of them was Loud Kiddington, a lud-mouthed little boy who appeared prominently in just about every episode. I don't know what experience in his life led to his habit of constant shouting, but apparently it worked well for comedy, 'cause he's sometimes needed to demonstrate loud moments in history. And sometimes, he likes to keep watch of something whilst almost silently repeating "See it... See it..." and then switching into screaming "DON'T SEE IT!! DON'T SEE IT!!" when he loses sight of it. Loud's loud voice also shows nepotism, because he's voiced by the youngest Ruegger son, Cody.

Not pictured is Loud's talking dog Fetch, who is just as aptly-named as his master. Fetch, like most dogs, likes to chase down a ball, no matter what type it is. I think he's also voiced by Welker.



Charity Bazaar is Loud's girlfriend. At least, I'm guessing she's his girlfriend due to the fact that there's a bunch of "Histeria!" fanfics featuring them as a couple. That, and she's the female lead of the Kid Chorus while he's the male lead. Charity is usually depicted as being very depressed, as shown by her catch phrase, "I'm not happy," which I suppose makes her the most sympathetic member of the Kid Chorus. Since we never seem to see these kids' parents, I guess maybe Charity's are divorced, or dead. Despite this, she manages to put on a decent smile in song sequences. And she apparently enjoys dressing up as a little pilgrim girl. As for her relationship with Loud, I suppose it makes for some pretty funny chemistry, such as in the Rosa Parks sketch where they're sharing a seat on the bus. Charity is clearly annoyed with Loud's singing, but the fact that she doesn't bother ditching him there tells me that she does indeed love him. By the way, Charity's deadpan voice was given to her by Newman.



Aka Pella is the obligatory African-American girl of the Kid Chorus, and unfortunately, singing in the Kid Chorus makes up most of her repetoire. Her personality quirk is her ability to aggrivate people with her sassy remarks, but she hasn't gotten to do that in most of the sketches I've seen. Apparently, her biggest roles were around the end of the show's run, which In2TV hasn't yet gotten to. As you would expect from an African-American girl in modern animation, Aka was voiced by Cree Summer.

If you recognize Froggo, it's because he's the character currently featured on my DeviantART avatar. I think he's my favorite character 'cause, well, look at him. He's so cute! He's also probably the first 10-year-old cartoon boy I've been able to do a perfect vocal impression of, because he has a frog-like voice, hence his name. He also likes to borrow certain things for his own purposes, going into a panic or telling his companion not to come crying to him later if he's denied these things. And I think he has a crush on Aka! He also is voiced by a Ruegger son - to be more exact, Nathan, who was also Baby Plucky and Skippy Squirrel in "Tiny Toons" and "Animaniacs", respectively.



Cho-Cho is living proof that little Chinese girls are more intelligent and devious than they look. She likes to persuade people into buying whatever it is she's selling them, ranging from candy to magazine subscriptions. And like any salesman, she won't stop badgering them until they agree to her demands. She was voiced by Tress MacNeille as well.

More often than not, Cho-Cho is accompanied by Lucky Bob, who is pretty much the retard of the group, agreeing to everything and fumbling on the easiest game show questions, all the while spouting Ed McMahon's catch phrases. Despite the adjective in his name, he's not really lucky; he's only called that because the incidents he's endured in the past haven't happened again. In spite of his idiocy, Cho-Cho seems to have a crush on him, because she's always bringing him along, whether they're in their usual scams or part of Miss Information's tour groups. Bob was voiced by Jeff Bennett.



Throwing some teenagers into the cast, we have Toast the clueless surfer. He is called Toast because his brain is as fried as his skin. Although he's not as stupid as Bob, he's probably the one most oblivious to the world around him, never seeming to care about what the guest stars have to say. Even though he's clearly a teenage male, he's also voiced by Tress MacNeille.



The show's other teenager, Pepper Mills, can pretty much be described as Charity's polar opposite in terms of personality. While Charity is always depressed, Pepper is always cheerful, and constantly giggling hysterically. Her running gag comes in the form of her harrassing the guest stars for their autographs, and then finding out afterwards they're not the person she mistook them for. For example, she mistakes Confucious for Jackie Chan, and Abe Lincoln for Lurch. She shares her voice with Toast, who I supposed would be her boyfriend given that he's the only other teenager on the show.



Groups often have a guy who takes most of the abuse, and I guess in the Kid Chorus, that guy is Pule Houser. I haven't seen much use of his character, but I suppose he's the whiny one of the bunch, 'cause whenever I hear him, he's moping about the abuse he's taken. And in the aforementioned Rosa Parks sketch, I saw him just about ready to vomit on the bus. His regular outfit suggests to me that he is German.



Susanna Susquahanna, the Native American girl of the Kid Chorus, probably got the smallest amount of screen time out of the ones who had names and personality quirks. In Susanna's case, it's the big gap in her front teeth that gives her a Sylvester-like lisp. And given how many times the letter S appears in her name, you can obviously guess how problematic it is for her to introduce herself. And I'm not kidding about her small amount of screen time. She mainly shows up in crowd shots, and I never noticed her until someone else pointed her out to me.



I cannot think of a single interesting thing about Crooked Mouth Boy or Kip Ling. They occasionally appear in the musical numbers, and that's it. Apparently, these two were so dull that Crooked Mouth Boy, despite his obvious quirk, doesn't even have a funny name like the others do. Not pictured is the just-as-generically-named Bow-Haired Girl, who apparently is also too dull to have a funny name. She doesn't even have a personality quirk of her own. Kip, on the other hand, probably would've had a chance with Cho-Cho if she wasn't already with Lucky Bob. That's all I can say about them.



Getting back to the adult characters, we have Mr. Smartypants, who lives up to his name very well. A strange little man who lives inside his pants which manage to contain just about anything a guy could need for any occasion, Smartypants seems to be the most intelligent, since when he has a speaking role, he gets to give a small lecture about what's being discussed, although sometimes the others don't want to listen. And apparently, he has a fetish for getting away with saying historical names that otherwise wouldn't be allowed to be heard on TV; when he tells us about the discovery of Uranus and the patenting of the toilet by Thomas Crapper, he giggles and guffaws. And yet, he also apparently harbors romantic feelings for Miss Information, as one sketch had him winning her heart (by way of a rose bouquet) in a parody of "The Dating Game". Smartypants was voiced by that voice actor I sound just like, Rob Paulsen.



I suppose the role that Bill Straitman plays in "guy in business suit". That's all I can figure out about him. Whenever he appears, he's doing something a guy in a business suit would do, such as accounting or interviewing. One of my favorite bits came from the latter; there, he was interviewing a Viking who believed that naming swords meant giving them a soap opera-like life. Other than that, though, I can't really say much for Bill.



Just as Pepper and Charity are polar opposites personality-wise, Chit Chatterson could pretty much be the opposite of Bill. I assume he's a parody of Mathew Lesko, as some of the sketches starring him show him as a commercial salesman advertising his services, and often acting as crazy as possible. For example, in one sketch, he plugs his mummification service while his employees work on a pharaoh who is clearly not dead. In another favorite bit of mine, Chit, under the alias Sven Chatterson (he must be the kind of the guy who likes to go by a different name each time), attempts to sell viking ships to a Viking leader who can see the flaws that he can't - the figureheads all resemble cuddly animal babies instead of fierce beasts! laugh.gif Chit was voiced by Billy West.



Rounding out the cast is Lydia Karaoke, the network censor (whether or not she's based on a real person is something I don't know). Performing her duties, she constantly interrupts the show to point out that something is not fitting for children's television, and sometimes steps in to censor the scene. But I'm willing to forgive her since she's quite attractive for a woman who "is watching you." And as I've mentioned before, she bares a striking resemblance to the titular character of "Amelie" (click here for a comparison). By the way, she's voiced by Nora Dunn.

So that's the cast of "Histeria!" If you wanna see them in action... you can't. Those bastards at Time-Warner removed "Histeria!" from In2TV's lineup just so they could make room for "Animaniacs", even though it has a DVD set coming soon just go to In2TV and check it out. Hopefully, Warner Bros. will realize how much this show appeals to us and will eventually release it in the DVD set it deserves. Until then, you can always sign my petition.

-----

By the way, in case you're wondering, I've managed to change the Kid Chorus' song in the next chapter of King Koopa Katastrophe Spoof 2 (the last line of the song is now "And please get our show on DVD"), and I managed to find a way for Toast to make a cameo as well (he'll be objecting to Luigi using his catch phrase).

Friends o' Mine

Brotherhoods of Which I am a Member

(admin!) (admin!) (admin!)

Until next time, everybody... DO THE NINTENDO MAXIMUS!!